Post-Apocalyptic Blues

Chapter Five: Dragon Slayers!

Well, after rescuing Abigal from…whatever the Goths were planning to do with her, the triumphant heroes traveled back to the bus station in the ruins to regroup and introduce their new lady friends to the zombie family. After some indiscreet “assignments” insofar as which girls would…um…support which of the heroes, they got to developing a long term game plan.

Sam, a zombie who was a civil engineer before the war, tried to explain to the party that the tour bus would be pretty useless getting around Louisiana unless it could go off road. After some discussion of alternatives, they figured that with the right equipment they could modify the bus to use a tread instead of wheels. Of course, they would need to find a tread big enough to fit a bus since they had no means of manufacturing one. Say…a tank tread would work, right? And there is an old abandoned National Guard armory not far away.

So they decided to go to the armory and see about acquiring a tank tread.

A sidebar to my gentle readers What transpires throughout the rest of this story has no basis in engineering reality. The physics at work are those of an appropriate B-grade “Mad Max” style movie. If you are hoping for anything that follows to bear a remote appearance to the realm of reality, I suggest you stop reading.

So they travel to the Nation Guard armory, along the way having some issues with the local mutant wildlife but nothing they couldn’t handle. As they approach the armory, they find a barricaded settlement of tribals along the road. The tribals are friendly and actually happy to see such heavily armed individuals. Seems they have had a problem with dragons attacking their settlement. The tribals describe the dragons as large reptiles the size of a pick-up truck that breath fire. The tribal leader tells the party that if they kill the dragons nearby, he will give them the “Magic Eyeball” they found in the ruins of the armory.

The “Magic eyeball” appears to be a small mechanical droid shaped like a basketball, but currently inoperable. It does make a slight humming noise when approached.

Since the party needs to go into the armory anyway, they agree to kill the so-called dragons.

As they near the site, they see a large alligator sneaking up on a mutant deer. The alligator opens its mouth and breaths fire on the deer, killing and roasting it simultaneously. They also notice additional tracks that resemble an alligator, but are too large to be the one they saw. Apparently there is a larger one in the area.

So they decide to set a trap for the “king” dragon using explosive and bait. of course, they need to go find some bait. So after rigging the explosives, they go off into the swamp to hunt some bait. Alas, they themselves are being hunted by a pair of fire-breathing alligators. After a close fight, they defeat the alligators.

But then they hear the explosives go off and rush back to the scene to find a giant albino alligator the length of a Ford F150. Another frantic combat ensues, but ultimately the heroes manage to defeat the beast. After doing a sweep of the armory, they finish off the last of the gators.

The hunter, however, also discovered a nest and decided to take the eggs back with him to raise. He successfully figured out how to make a portable nest to safely transport the eggs.

Once the gators were dealt with, the party found a pair of tanks still on the property. That was the good news. The bad news is that they had no means of removing the tank tread from the tank while the tank was standing up. They noticed however that because of the way the ground had settled that the tank was leaning slightly. Maybe they could tip it over?
Of course, the only thing nearby strong enough to tip a tank would be another tank. So Ryan and Tristan (Ean2) get into the other tank to see what they can do. The other party members, suddenly seeing the potential for disaster, move out of harm’s way instead of trying to talk their companions out of what they are about to do. A failed Mechanics check followed by a Failed Drive check leaves the pair thinking the best way to tip the tank would be to FIRE at it. They figure out how to get the tank powered on and move the tank 20 feet back to prepare to fire.

Sidebar Yes, I know. Technically they shouldn’t have even found any fuel for it. But you know, when people are determined to get themselves killed, it is the GM’s job to simply stay out of the way.

So they fire the weapon at the other tank, causing a huge explosion. Miraculously, they actually survived (damn one’s on damage dice grumble grumble). And what is left of the other tank flips over onto its side. They spend the rest of the day getting the tread off the remains of the tank.

Of course, they only have their military Jeep and I ask them how they intend to get a tank trend back to the ruins. They jury-rig a trailer to drag the tread behind them.

Unfortunately, this trailer does not hold up well and they have to stop every few hours to fix it. During one of these stops, a DEATHCLAW attacked the party.

With Ryan almost dead from the Deathclaw, Tristan rushes to heal him. His declared action is that he is going to jump OVER the Deathclaw to heal Ryan.

Me: OK, you have a clear path around the trailer. You can just go around and make your check.

Tristan: But it will be cooler if I jump over it.

Me: You realize that you have to make an Acrobatic check, and if you fail you will be face first in the mud? You don’t need to make a check to just go around.

Tristan: Yeah, I know. (rolls die) Um, what was the difficulty?

Suffice it to say, he failed miserable and landed face first in the mud, becoming a lovely doormat for the Deathclaw to step on as he continued to rip into Ryan.

By the grace of the dice gods, the rest of the party got their act together long enough to kill the thing before it finished ripping off Ryan’s head.

Eventually they will figure out that there is no auto-save in this game…or not.



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